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This Week's Issue
Go West, Young Man
Our writer traverses Pennsylvania on bicycle, and (barely) lives to tell the tale.
by Isaiah Thompson
Finally I do it: I announce my vacation, pack up the bike, and start pedaling the 380 miles to Pittsburgh with the notion of seeing something of this "Pennsylvania."

Sports:
Know Your Enemy
You, NewFan, have got problems.
by E. James Beale
Bonus Web Content
Unlike last year, when the Phillies faced the undeniably annoying (cow bells? Rayhawks?) but ultimately unimposing Tampa Bay Rays, the 2009 Phils are facing off against the most despicable professional franchise this side of the Dallas Cowboys — the New York Yankees.

A Million Stories
If you've lived here long enough, you've probably heard this story before.
by Carolyn Huckabay
Instead of calling 911 I spent the evening combing the streets of South Philly in a PhillyCarShare car with my supportive but annoyed boyfriend. This is so ridiculous, he said. This city is so screwed up, I said.

Man Overboard!:
666
There's slightly demonic stuff everywhere you look.
by Isaiah Thompson
The microwave started beeping. And with each beep — and I swear this is true — a "6" appeared on the screen: "6," it beeped. "6." "666." The numbers wouldn't clear. I tried again; same thing. So Satan controls my microwave, big whup.

The Bell Curve
City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
When news breaks in Philadelphia, we make jokes.

Icepack
Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.
by A.D. Amorosi
I neither like nor read Nick Hornby. If I wanna know about bad things the '80s gave us, I have a diary and a shattered nervous system to reference.


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BYOTY Book Fair
Sat., Oct. 17, noon-6 p.m., free, Little Berlin, 119 W. Montgomery St., 610-308-0579, littleberlin.org.
Clef Club
One good thing about music: It inspired Sonata.
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